all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
