I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
