We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My pussy is not your playground.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
