Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
