Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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