Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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