I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
