he puts the penis in happiness.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
