is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just found puke in my bra..
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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