I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
