Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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