I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
