We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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