she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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