you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
