Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
