saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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