considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
