Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
