I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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