It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize