too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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