There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
