why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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