Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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