Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
