I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Alive.
So much puke
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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