No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
