I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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