i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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