I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
