I hate all girls vehemently.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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