so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
