Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
