She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
