our cab driver is having phone sex.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
But theres a keg here and me gusta
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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