Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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