I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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