I wannas sexs uuuuu
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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