do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
im holly from the hills drunk
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
