At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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