Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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