The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
