and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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