perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
