You're a womanizer and a bitch.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
