and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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