I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i was born a porn star she said
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
