We need to start having sex underwater more often.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
