I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
