Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
