On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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