You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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